Simplify

Simplify, cool concept but really how do we do that??  So the week as been hectic and crazy, mainly because I did not keep my eye on this concept.  An over tired 2 1/2 year old, a busy husband, hectic work, changes in schedules, friends moving away for 2 years (we will miss you guys) and Christmas does not lend itself to simplification. 

So where do I start.  I have talked before about staying present in the moment, and saying no more often but how do I say no when there are so many demands? That was my main issue late last week and over the weekend.  I can say no to clients when their requests are unreasonable, and yet their requests have not been unreasonable.  There are some things that I just have to accept. My teaching at Plymouth is over for the semester (well almost, still grading), so although that has left an opening my schedule, I know have to be careful about over extending myself because "I have the time."

So as I say to my clients live in the moment, mindfully AND cope ahead. I need to have a plan.  Which day will I come in early, when will I say late and what will I say no to?  At a training I went to not that long ago, a therapist said that she does not work evenings.  She decided it was too much for her and she was not going to do it anymore and she has now adjusted as have her patients.  This made me think, what were my limits, what boundaries have I not been putting in place because "I have to bend over backwards for clients."

So my plan for every day (not just a New Years resolution) is to simply, take the hectic, chaotic and overwhelming and replace it with self care, and serenity, time with family and friends and letting go of others beliefs that I should behave in a certain way (overly accommodating) because I am a social worker.  After all if you are coming to see me for therapy, don't you want to know that you therapist has at least some of it figured out???

So let's try keeping it simple, sharing love, taking care of ourselves and taking time out of the chaotic to enjoy the beauty in the world.  That's my plan and I hope you join me.

Namaste

Marley as Belle

The Season of Giving

Now when I talk about giving one would think I mean, it is Christmas (or which ever holiday of giving you celebrate this time of year) and I of course mean presents wrapped up with little bows on top. And while this type of giving is nice and makes us feel good, so too does the giving of ourselves.

I have found that giving of myself, through small and sometime anonymous acts, and the joy I find in that, often lasts much longer than the joy I feel picking the perfect gift for my family and friends.

I was thinking about this today when I was talking with my sister about what to buy for all the nieces and nephews. They are getting older and it is getting harder to buy stuff.  They all seem to want Northface jackets, UGG boots or money.  So we stress about it, and then we buy something that is lost, spent or forgotten within a few weeks.  

So I sit and reflect.  Although, as I was reminded my a client of mine, the whole world is not on board with being less materialistic so you still have to shop, MY goal for this holiday season is to give more of myself, and not expect anything in return. More love, compassion, understanding, patience and balance.

So make this holiday season about giving, remember those that are less fortunate and remember to be grateful for what you do have and you will surely come out of this year feeling good, happy, healthy and balanced. And if your not, it's never too late to start.

I pinky promise to give more of myself, to not obsess about the material goods and find peace this Christmas season.  How about you? 

Namaste

Ahh the Love

Honestly I wasn't feelin' the love this morning when I was getting ready for work. Tired, running late forgot everything at home.   See my semester at Plymouth is about the end so that tends to put me in a tail spin. (Fear) Have to get my numbers back up and decided where I am going to be when and try to spend time with my family, oh and the holidays......Then I stepped back and took a breathe.  That's when I decided I can wallow in this crappy mood all day or I could do something about it.  

So I decided to do the later and started taking control of my life again.  

Recognizing that in order to move forward, into my greatest self, the road is through that of love, not anti-love.  Hanging on to fear, resentments, insecurities and jealousy only leave us in a place of negativity and one that is lacking love and true greatness.

When me move from a place of love, act through love, we are bound to experience more joy, happiness and love.  Developing a Mantra, reminds us that acting through love we can overcome minor irritations and stay connected to the present. 

For me, my day has gotten better, and instead of looking forward to all the holiday craziness being over and worrying about work, I am truly looking forward to the experience through love, seeing obstacles as challenges to overcome not struggles to be fearful of.

So: I pinky promise that I will love as much as I can for as long as I can, and not allow fear to get in my way.  

Will you do the same??

Namaste

Attitude

So I realized this morning it's been a few days since my last posting.  I'd like to say that it's because I've been so busy and having such a great time, but really it's because my attitude has sucked. I guess we all have those days right?  Don't get me wrong did have some fun times and enjoyed myself but when the fun stopped the irritation increased.  

Being aggravated is a normal part of human emotion, we all have those moments, and I usually try not to let them last longer than that, but I knew when my husband said, "Do I annoy you?", on our way to the Christmas parade yesterday that it was more than a moment.  To be honest I haven't been trying very hard, I haven't had much sleep so my patience and reserve energy are running low. 

As a result I have chosen to focus on Attitude today.  When I am focusing on the negative, and not able to highlight the positives I get annoyed.  But I have found under the same circumstances, when my attitude is different, more positive, the things that normally annoy me seem to be nothing more that mere inconveniences.  Have you ever come across someone in your life that truly has something to struggle over, cancer, wheel chair bound, absolute poverty, and yet the have a great attitude, are positive and upbeat, and you think, "wow, that is amazing, how do they do that?"

Well I'll tell you, it's all about perspective, about attitude.  When we are able to stop and be grateful for what we have,  happy that we have our health, or love (of any kind), of friends that care, good fortune, of....(fill in the blank), we are better equipt for dealing with the day to day.  When bills pile up, when we get in arguments, when we are short with people, or when they don't do what we ask, we are able to see it as small stuff. And as Richard Carlson says, Don't sweat the small stuff - And it's all small stuff.

When we can work at being open to the positives and remind ourselves that the negative will bring us down, and our attitude can change a situation to terrible (negative thoughts) or hopeful (positive thoughts) doesn't that demonstrate that our happiness is our own responsibility?  I have to make the choice that I am going to be happy today so I can enjoy my Sunday with my family, and not have it roll by and miss it, in a cloud of annoyance.

I pinky promise, that I will do all I can while I can, to make myself happy, take care of me and love myself, my  family and friends without limits and conditions and I triple dog dare you to do that same!

Namaste

Letting Go

What Burden do you carry? What holds you down or holds you back?  What does letting go mean in your life and what will be left when you let go? 

By letting go and overcoming the obstacles that bind us and hold us back we can truly be free. We can stop and look at our fear based thoughts, and ask, where are these coming from? And we can make an active choice to let go of these fears.  Recognizing that we are not perfect nor do we need to be allows us to free ourselves and be empowering instead of disempowering.
 
I am reminded of this by my 2 1/2 year old who likes to repeat what I say, and mimic my facial expressions. Recently I have noticed that when I put her to bed she wants to come down stairs, and wants the light on, but not when Jeffrey does it. So last night I put her to bed and left her crying with hall light on. When my husband said to me "hun, she doesn't do that to me".  I realized hte critical difference, most nights after I put her down I go back and work, (or some nights actually finally get to eat dinner) and I have not been mindful of that time with her. I have been rushing her and she simply wants to be with me. So I went back up, sat with her. talked with her and rubbed her back for 3 minutes, at the end of that she kissed me good night and told me to turn off the light.


My two year old taught me that by letting go of the burden of trying to get everything done, and being perfect, I am a better mom and can be more in tune with her.  Letting go of the shoulds, and doing more wants.


I pinky promise, that I will do more of that is good for me, less of what is harmful, and be present as it happens, and I double dog dare you to do the same.

Namaste

Self Nurturance

As I sit here at 5:30am I think about self care and wonder why I am not still in bed. Sleep is certainly one form of self care.  But that is not the one that works best for me, I know shocker for those that know we, after all I am a sleeper!!

But I was recently reminded by a few different people after the Thanksgiving Chaos, about the need to maintain oneness, and strength when dealing with others. So often we forsake our own happiness and sanity for the happiness of others. We tend to overcompensate, making sure everyone else is having a good time, leaving ourselves empty and hallow.  "No, I got it, I can do it all, you sit" why not say sure thanks for the help when it's offered?

Why the need to be viewed as perfect in others eyes in order for us to feel competent, effective and powerful. Why not BE powerful, BE centered, and demonstrate for others how healthy relationships are two way streets, that you both give and take.  Have you ever felt like you have a friend or family member that takes advantage of your kindness and generosity?  Chances are that is the dynamic YOU have set up, whether through your own behaviors or in combination with another persons behaviors.  And now is the time to find some balance. Now is the time to nurture your self for a change. (You know for most of you it is a change).

The reality is we learn and grow through adversity and challenge. Consequences in life is how we grow from children to adults.  Saying "no" to those you love it ok, it's effective for them and it is the healthiest thing you can do to nurture yourself.  Boundaries make us feel safe and effective so give it a try. And no they will not like it, but if you stick with it. it gets easier and they become more accepting of it....eventually.

Today's Promise:

I pinky promise, that I will say NO more often, love more freely and sit in peace just for me, today and everyday, and I triple dog dare you to do the same!!

Namsate

Patience

I get to practice patience every day. As I said I have a 2 1/2 year old, and she is excellent at trying my patience, as a matter of fact, while I am typing, she is on my lap and the computer is on hers, (per her instruction).  Marley is a huge helper, always helping me mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, wash the windows, do the laundry and cook, especially when I use things like the stand mixer of food processor, she loves the buttons.  I used to get aggravated with her, because lets face it, when you are used to just motoring through and getting it done, slowing down to teach her and wait for her is time consuming in an already over loaded day. 

But then I read the Lao-Tzu quote about patience being one of the greatest treasures, and I realized again, that patience is about perception.  The problem is not that Marley wants to help me, the problem is that I am used to doing things my own way, and when that doesn't happen it makes me, and most of us annoyed at best, as a result, we become short on patience.

When I  am able to be mindful of the journey, it makes the chore much more enjoyable.  When I can find joy in Marley covered in flour and the pizza dough on the floor, I am able to laugh about it and start again with no resentments.  Not to mention, those of you who know Marley know how funny she is, so this alone, if I am attending to the moment, and not just rushing through to get to the finish line, is enough to bring joy.  As a result my stress level goes down and my relationship with my family gets better.

So I am going to make a promise to you, and if you are so moved, please comment and do the same:  

I pinky promise, that I will stay in the moment, practice mindfulness, and move to be more patient and accepting of the world around me, and I double dog dare you to do the same!! 

Namaste

Compassion

I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These are your greatest treasures. Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world. ~ Lao-Tzu

 

 In deep and lasting ways, when we heal ourselves, we heal the world. For as the body is only as healthy as its individual cells, the world is only as healthy as its individual souls. ~ Nepo

The idea that the compassion we show towards ourselves, our practice of self care and acceptance are so crucial in forwards movement and growth of the world is astounding.  Before reading this I hadn't really thought about compassion as such a collective global concern.  I have always known that it is important for me to be healthy of body. mind and spirit and I do the best I can to model that to my child, clients, students, family and friends, but it was while reading yesterdays daily reading in The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo, that I put it all together. 

Being compassionate means taking time, time for self, time for others.  Letting go of judgements, not harboring resentments. Accepting the humanness of those around us and forgiving the imperfections for ourselves, the other person and the world.

I leave you with this challenge, take time out today in the busy world, to stop and show compassion to others as a means of being compassionate to self.  When I become angry, and harbor resentments, I feel terrible for it. When I accept my feelings, even anger, it allows me to move beyond that emotion and demonstrate compassion. 

Ask yourself this, how am I changing the world through my acts of  compassion? Not sure?? Maybe it's time to think about that, maybe, just maybe, your act of compassion will make the difference in an otherwise terrible day, giving others the chance to pay it forward, thus changing the world.

Namaste

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

So Finding some balance could be a challenge as we move into this holiday giving season.  So here I sit, viewing all the Black Friday deals and I come back to the concept of balance.  Reminding myself that giving thanks is not about great  deals. The one holiday that we have to stop and be grateful, has become over run with "holiday shopping deals". As the years have moved by we have gone out at 6am, then 5am, then 3am, and now midnight tonight.  I get it, I like a good deal as much as the next person, but at what price to our health and sanity?

So as we start this holiday season, remember, holidays are about being with people we love. It is about spending time and being present, letting go of greed and material things.  Enjoying time with your kids, parents, siblings and even if some of those relationships are strained now is the time to let go of resentments you may be harboring. Resentments bring us down, and are not productive.  They zap our physical and emotional energy, energy that can be used to heal, to give thanks and to focus on what we have, not what we don't have.


So on this Thanksgiving, I leave you with this challenge, stay away for the commercial, chaotic side of the holidays and instead take time to give thanks, to nurture your own needs, take a walk after dinner, do a short rejuvenating yoga sequence,  take a little while to sit and read a book, sit and chat with family or friends and try to stay in the moment. There is no place else you need to be!


Let go of the worries, strive for balance and you will make it through this day, thankful!


Nasmaste.

"Twinkle twinkle....

...Little star how I wonder what you are." This is what I listen to over the monitor after Marley goes to bed.  It's been a tough few nights, after being sick last week and having no problems going to sleep she has wanted to stay down stair the last two nights.  Twinkle twinkle is her favorite song currently. Writing this blog I ponder, what is it about children singing that makes you smile?  Is the nasally little voice, or the yelling as loud as they can, or the joy on their face, or the sheer lack of inhibition that we envy?

Why is it that 2 1/2 year olds can sing at the top of their lungs like no one is watching and at some point we stop doing that. Why not belt out "twinkle twinkle" or for that matter "Living on a Prayer"? How did we become so self conscience and concerned about what other people think of us? Whether in the car or  walking down the street,  at the gym or in the store. 

Why not Rock out to Adele and share it with those around you?  Rather than stopping, ask other to join you, and if they don't that's okay, there is no reason for you to stop.  This is your journey, your life and you only get one. So why hold back, why not belt it out, why let other people's rigidity and judgements stunt your growth?

Today I leave you with this, your challenge is to "dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like you'll never be hurt". Why wait, you may not get another chance.

In the word on Jon Bon Jovi:

"Whooah, we're half way there,

Whooah living on a prayer,

Take my hand we'll make it - I swear,

Whooah living on a prayer"

If you know the word keep going....in the car...with everyone watching.......Rock hands and all......

Namaste!

(For those of you who don't know the song check it out, you can't help buck Rock it!)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDK9QqIzhwk

Peace and Joy

Peace and Joy can you imagine, both in one day, every day, for the rest of your life? It is amazing to me that with a change in perspective, I have been able to find both in each breath. That's not to say I don't get angry, because I do. Ask my husband. But I am really working at taking each obstacle not as a personal assault, but as a challenge to be overcome.


In the past week I had the privilege of attending a training for self care with the wonderful Julie McGrath, LICSW of  www.thejoysource.com.  She really helped me to recognize that I get to decide. I can walk around with a chip on my shoulder, or I can do something about the things that are bothering me.  Then I started to think. What bothers me is hatred. The angst and negativity that is over taking our world. It is smothering, and I'm not down with tolerating it any more.  So I decided to write this blog, and here we are.


So what has made me happy this week. Well last night I dragged Val to a yoga class and boy were we in for a surprise. More like an experience. I mean the physical aspect of the yoga practice was great, but it's never just that with Sadie, and the live music and movement as Dreaming Bear had an entire room of yogis thumping our hands on the floor and singing along was amazing.  I keep singing in my head "little by little" which we repeated for about 6-8 mins as our answer of how we are going to change the world.


How are you going to leave a lasting effect if how you communicate with the universe it though nasty grams? What you put out is what you get back, is nasty what you're looking for? Keep this in mind, If today were your last day, what would you want peoples lasting impression of you to be? Are you putting out the best you for you? 


So I leave you with this question, How are you going to change the world? When you are gone, will the cosmos know you existed? In the words of Dreaming Bear himself, "have you ever given the universe goosebumps?"  If no, then lets get moving people, little by little....little by little.


Check out Sadie Nardini and Dreaming Bear under my links! They Rock!!
Namaste!

Ah Peace!

So Sundays, unlike Saturdays, are usually peaceful days around here. The house is clean, we do some vegan cooking to get us ready for a work and school week and some quality family time. So today I am doing some research to find some yummy recipes that I can share with my family for Thanksgiving.  So far so good, and we might just make some vegan chocolate chip cookies before the day is over.

After a family day, I am looking forward to some me time tonight.  I have dragged a friend, and signed her up as well and we are heading to Boston to take a 2 hour yoga class with Sadie Nardini and Dreaming-Bear, at Back Bay Yoga.  It is sure to bring on any peace and serenity that the day may try to shew away.  Sadie is amazing and I highly recommend taking a class or checking out an online class with her if you can. She is the perfect blend of serenity and kick your but yoga for the body mind and spirit.

Try something new, something you have always wanted to try, but have been scared or apprehensive to try.  You have a short week this week, or maybe you have a extra busy week, any way you slice it, if you don't make time today, it's not gonna happen.  SO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

Namaste

Here are a few of my favorite things....

Here are some of my favorite happy links that inspire me!

www.thekindlife.com

www.sadienardini.com

www.thejoysource.com

Will add more as I think of them!
Namaste

Serenity Now!!!

Like Frank Constanza, sometime I find myself wanting to scream this at the top of my lungs SERENITY NOW!! Especially when my 2 1/2 year old is crying "mommy up" over and over and over again while I am trying to cook a birthday dinner for my sister in law. This following a day stuck in the house with a sick kid. A day where I was planning to teach/take three yoga classes, (ok one is pilates but still) that was to be my serenity.  That however did not happen.


Instead my day went like this, wake to a puking child, clean her up put her back to bed, wake again to a puking child, get her cleaned up and get tucked in on the couch to figure out who was going to teach my classes.  Then the beeping started. BEEP. Not a loud beeping, just a soft little my battery is low beep.  OKay so the universe was telling me I was supposed to change the batteries in the smoke detectors when daylight savings ended a few weeks ago. I can handle that. So up on the chair I climb...but I'm 5'2", so the damn detector is just out of my reach, so I say to sick Marley, "never so this" and I climb on a piece of furniture to reach it, I get it down replace the battery and put it back up, Yay me....BEEP. Seriously, so I take it down pull the battery out and say find we have like 10 smoke detectors we will be fine. BEEP. What???  AND it was coming from this spot. SO I say forget it I can block it out.

Well yes I can but my dog can not and she processed to be glued to my ass all day. BEEP Marley continues to puke. BEEP.  She sleeps some more, BEEP.  Finally she seems to be coming out of it, feeling better holding down water and she wants Saltines. BEEP.  The dog is going ape shit and I put her outside for a while. BEEP.  Marley climbs on the couch and wants to watch Elmo on my laptop, no problem, BEEP.  So I got to investigate, BEEP. Maybe it's actually the one at the top of the stairs, BEEP. holy cow it is, BEEP.  I pull it down and replace, ahhhh. finally silence, BEEP. WHAT????

After MUCH searching I realized it was not the smoke detector but the battery in the carbon monoxide detector, BEEP. So once that is replaced, BEEP, the beeping stops, finally peace. But the damage is done, the dog has lost her squash and she can't seem to relax.  Then I think, hmmm, how to dogs relax??  Will have to work on that one!

SO yesterday is done, the house is refinanced, which happened after the beeping stopped, Marley is feeling much better and dinner is made for tonight. All in all not so bad. So how did I avoid allowing the BEEPing to make me as crazy as the dog?

This is how, I remembered that this too shall end, I unlike Mika have the ability to use self talk, to remind myself that Marley will not be sick forever, that my husband will make the beeping stop if I can't, that the house is clean enough for family to come over and that just because I didn't get to do 3 hours of yoga, doesn't mean I'm going to crack up. I reminded myself to be mindful, to look at Marley's beautiful face as she slept on me, and hang on to this moment, because like the BEEPing this too shall pass, and this I will miss. 

Take time for you today, you deserve it!
Namaste

Intro

      It's true, despite the economy, news reports, and what feels like a never ending stack of bills coupled with holiday stress, there are people out there that are happy. Could it be? We are seeing and hearing so much negativity in the world, I should know, I hear it daily as a therapist working with adults and children who are depressed and anxious. 

  Working in the field of mental health for over a decade and being a yoga instructor, I have learned a lot about happiness, joy and bliss and the work it takes to get there.

     My goal is to share and log, some ideas I have come up with over the years, along with some writings that I share with my yoga students.  So check back often, hope this is helpful!

Namaste!!