Simplify

Simplify, cool concept but really how do we do that??  So the week as been hectic and crazy, mainly because I did not keep my eye on this concept.  An over tired 2 1/2 year old, a busy husband, hectic work, changes in schedules, friends moving away for 2 years (we will miss you guys) and Christmas does not lend itself to simplification. 

So where do I start.  I have talked before about staying present in the moment, and saying no more often but how do I say no when there are so many demands? That was my main issue late last week and over the weekend.  I can say no to clients when their requests are unreasonable, and yet their requests have not been unreasonable.  There are some things that I just have to accept. My teaching at Plymouth is over for the semester (well almost, still grading), so although that has left an opening my schedule, I know have to be careful about over extending myself because "I have the time."

So as I say to my clients live in the moment, mindfully AND cope ahead. I need to have a plan.  Which day will I come in early, when will I say late and what will I say no to?  At a training I went to not that long ago, a therapist said that she does not work evenings.  She decided it was too much for her and she was not going to do it anymore and she has now adjusted as have her patients.  This made me think, what were my limits, what boundaries have I not been putting in place because "I have to bend over backwards for clients."

So my plan for every day (not just a New Years resolution) is to simply, take the hectic, chaotic and overwhelming and replace it with self care, and serenity, time with family and friends and letting go of others beliefs that I should behave in a certain way (overly accommodating) because I am a social worker.  After all if you are coming to see me for therapy, don't you want to know that you therapist has at least some of it figured out???

So let's try keeping it simple, sharing love, taking care of ourselves and taking time out of the chaotic to enjoy the beauty in the world.  That's my plan and I hope you join me.

Namaste

Marley as Belle

The Season of Giving

Now when I talk about giving one would think I mean, it is Christmas (or which ever holiday of giving you celebrate this time of year) and I of course mean presents wrapped up with little bows on top. And while this type of giving is nice and makes us feel good, so too does the giving of ourselves.

I have found that giving of myself, through small and sometime anonymous acts, and the joy I find in that, often lasts much longer than the joy I feel picking the perfect gift for my family and friends.

I was thinking about this today when I was talking with my sister about what to buy for all the nieces and nephews. They are getting older and it is getting harder to buy stuff.  They all seem to want Northface jackets, UGG boots or money.  So we stress about it, and then we buy something that is lost, spent or forgotten within a few weeks.  

So I sit and reflect.  Although, as I was reminded my a client of mine, the whole world is not on board with being less materialistic so you still have to shop, MY goal for this holiday season is to give more of myself, and not expect anything in return. More love, compassion, understanding, patience and balance.

So make this holiday season about giving, remember those that are less fortunate and remember to be grateful for what you do have and you will surely come out of this year feeling good, happy, healthy and balanced. And if your not, it's never too late to start.

I pinky promise to give more of myself, to not obsess about the material goods and find peace this Christmas season.  How about you? 

Namaste

Ahh the Love

Honestly I wasn't feelin' the love this morning when I was getting ready for work. Tired, running late forgot everything at home.   See my semester at Plymouth is about the end so that tends to put me in a tail spin. (Fear) Have to get my numbers back up and decided where I am going to be when and try to spend time with my family, oh and the holidays......Then I stepped back and took a breathe.  That's when I decided I can wallow in this crappy mood all day or I could do something about it.  

So I decided to do the later and started taking control of my life again.  

Recognizing that in order to move forward, into my greatest self, the road is through that of love, not anti-love.  Hanging on to fear, resentments, insecurities and jealousy only leave us in a place of negativity and one that is lacking love and true greatness.

When me move from a place of love, act through love, we are bound to experience more joy, happiness and love.  Developing a Mantra, reminds us that acting through love we can overcome minor irritations and stay connected to the present. 

For me, my day has gotten better, and instead of looking forward to all the holiday craziness being over and worrying about work, I am truly looking forward to the experience through love, seeing obstacles as challenges to overcome not struggles to be fearful of.

So: I pinky promise that I will love as much as I can for as long as I can, and not allow fear to get in my way.  

Will you do the same??

Namaste

Attitude

So I realized this morning it's been a few days since my last posting.  I'd like to say that it's because I've been so busy and having such a great time, but really it's because my attitude has sucked. I guess we all have those days right?  Don't get me wrong did have some fun times and enjoyed myself but when the fun stopped the irritation increased.  

Being aggravated is a normal part of human emotion, we all have those moments, and I usually try not to let them last longer than that, but I knew when my husband said, "Do I annoy you?", on our way to the Christmas parade yesterday that it was more than a moment.  To be honest I haven't been trying very hard, I haven't had much sleep so my patience and reserve energy are running low. 

As a result I have chosen to focus on Attitude today.  When I am focusing on the negative, and not able to highlight the positives I get annoyed.  But I have found under the same circumstances, when my attitude is different, more positive, the things that normally annoy me seem to be nothing more that mere inconveniences.  Have you ever come across someone in your life that truly has something to struggle over, cancer, wheel chair bound, absolute poverty, and yet the have a great attitude, are positive and upbeat, and you think, "wow, that is amazing, how do they do that?"

Well I'll tell you, it's all about perspective, about attitude.  When we are able to stop and be grateful for what we have,  happy that we have our health, or love (of any kind), of friends that care, good fortune, of....(fill in the blank), we are better equipt for dealing with the day to day.  When bills pile up, when we get in arguments, when we are short with people, or when they don't do what we ask, we are able to see it as small stuff. And as Richard Carlson says, Don't sweat the small stuff - And it's all small stuff.

When we can work at being open to the positives and remind ourselves that the negative will bring us down, and our attitude can change a situation to terrible (negative thoughts) or hopeful (positive thoughts) doesn't that demonstrate that our happiness is our own responsibility?  I have to make the choice that I am going to be happy today so I can enjoy my Sunday with my family, and not have it roll by and miss it, in a cloud of annoyance.

I pinky promise, that I will do all I can while I can, to make myself happy, take care of me and love myself, my  family and friends without limits and conditions and I triple dog dare you to do that same!

Namaste

Letting Go

What Burden do you carry? What holds you down or holds you back?  What does letting go mean in your life and what will be left when you let go? 

By letting go and overcoming the obstacles that bind us and hold us back we can truly be free. We can stop and look at our fear based thoughts, and ask, where are these coming from? And we can make an active choice to let go of these fears.  Recognizing that we are not perfect nor do we need to be allows us to free ourselves and be empowering instead of disempowering.
 
I am reminded of this by my 2 1/2 year old who likes to repeat what I say, and mimic my facial expressions. Recently I have noticed that when I put her to bed she wants to come down stairs, and wants the light on, but not when Jeffrey does it. So last night I put her to bed and left her crying with hall light on. When my husband said to me "hun, she doesn't do that to me".  I realized hte critical difference, most nights after I put her down I go back and work, (or some nights actually finally get to eat dinner) and I have not been mindful of that time with her. I have been rushing her and she simply wants to be with me. So I went back up, sat with her. talked with her and rubbed her back for 3 minutes, at the end of that she kissed me good night and told me to turn off the light.


My two year old taught me that by letting go of the burden of trying to get everything done, and being perfect, I am a better mom and can be more in tune with her.  Letting go of the shoulds, and doing more wants.


I pinky promise, that I will do more of that is good for me, less of what is harmful, and be present as it happens, and I double dog dare you to do the same.

Namaste